I have some bad news. And it’s going to change our lives. I just found out that I have three days to live.
Just kidding. No, I’m not dying. Not funny? Sorry. That was in bad taste. You see I heard that if you have to break really bad news to someone you love then you start by telling them something even more unimaginable than the actual bad news because it helps to cushion the blow. Here’s the real bad news:
We can’t shop at Target anymore.
I’m sorry. I know you’re the most fiscally-responsible person ever and that I’m infinitely worse when it comes to impulse-buying. And I know that there are only two things in the world you get crazy with the cash on – your hair and anything from Target. Well, good news is we’ll have more money to spend on your hair.
We can’t shop at Target anymore because Target hates our friends and family — my cousin, your mom’s best friend and so many our dear friends who love and support us. Yes, Target hates them. They hate them because they’re gay.
In fact Target hates our gay friends and family so much that the company and its top executives have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on anti-gay candidates and propositions. A few weeks ago they donated $150,000 to support a virulently anti-gay candidate in Minnesota, Tom Emmer, who “views gays and lesbians as immoral, wants to keep them from being parents, and supports religious ministries that advocate violence toward the LGBT community.”
Target’s CEO, Gregg Steinhafel, has supported the Tea Party belle Michelle Bachman who once “compared gay people to pedophiles” and current Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty who “vetoed a bill that would have allowed gay people to plan the funerals of their deceased partners.” That’s not the Target we know, love and shop, right?
Sadly, it is. It turns out Target is homophobia headquarters — its executives are crawling into bed with the religious right. Senior Target executives supported the anti-gay marriage Prop 8 here in California all the way from Minneapolis. Plus, the Target VP for Governmental Affairs has supported amending the Constitution to ban gay marriage and has said that “people who are gay and lesbian should be disqualified from certain governmental positions, particularly the Supreme Court.”
We probably wouldn’t have known how much Target hates and fears The Gay before Citizens United because they would have been in the closet about it. Kind of ironic, huh?
First Brett Favre and now this. I’m having a really hard time these days with anything involving Minnesota outside of Al Franken.
So, cut up the credit card – we’ll need to find another place for cheap hello kitty paraphernalia for our daughter. But I think you’ll agree that since we now have found out that to choose Target means to support those who hate our friends and family that there really is no choice.
So, good-bye Tarjay. Hello… Costco?
Your Loving Husband,